|The Toddler sanitizing his Rhino friend's hands. Stay healthy, everyone!|
This past week have been especially hard on me. First, my nanny decided to pursue other things, which we are happy to support, but that means leaving us behind. There is nothing worse than not having childcare for working parents, really. It's like you are handed the pink slip yourself, except that you haven't done anything wrong and you thought everything goes well as it is. Second, I feel depleted physically and mentally lately. I don't know if the Toddler is requiring extra energy these days, or my attention has been divided between taking care of a kid, a household, and work on top of finding a replacement childcare. I just feel overall pessimism about the future. My glass is not even half-empty, it has been dry ages ago; somebody pour me some wine, please!
When I feel down, I feel jealousy start to creep in. Just a small chitchat with a friend who are having a date night with her husband made me want to punch her outright. The giggling video of my lovely nieces inspires the bitter sarcasm. The world is just ugly.
Time and time again, I know the antidote to these ugly yuckiness is by expressing gratitude. I usually start where I am, what I can access at this moment. If I can't be thankful for the world peace, I won't start there!
Usually, I start to be thankful about having a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep each night, and meals three times daily. Next, I'm thankful about the nice weather we have today, the fact that I still have a running, working car to go to work, and the nanny that takes care of the Toddler so I can go to work. I'm thankful that the Toddler is sleeping now, and I have time to write this post. Thankful about being able to knit while listening to my audiobook. Thankful that the Toddler told his nanny today, "I want mama, please." Thankful for tomorrow where I look forward to share more giggles, laughters and silliness with him. Thankful for PapaLorp who is working hard to provide us with all these material comfort.
Yes, a date night would be nice. But with so many things to be thankful for, my glass is filled again... even if it is not all the way to the top.
What kind of "ugliness" do you feel when the world seems to turn against you? Have you try the gratitude antidote?