Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Thankful Tuesday

Stuffing his cheeks full of ice cream. I want more days like this.

I've thought back and forth about whether or not to post such cliché Thankful Tuesday post. Nobody likes to talk about tragedy; we live in a modern world inundated with bad news anyway. Skip away if you will, we'll save tomorrow to talk about something else more cheerful.

Never once a news about an airplane disappearance consumed my awareness. I'm of course talking about Malaysia Airlines flight 370 which is still missing and is presumed somewhere in the vast Indian Ocean. I do believe in noticing small things, especially small nagging things. Rather than brushing them aside like pesky insects, as painful as it may be, whenever I'm ready, I try to give it a chance to come to my consciousness.

Supposed you have the same thing going on in your life: a nagging voice that you have to contact your mom, or to forgive your friend for his/her past wrongdoing, or to spend less, or to exercise more. Whatever that is, it will keep coming if you don't give those voices a chance to surface to the top.

Somewhere in the South China Sea, March 8, we were in an airplane and my priorities were how to keep my toddler from kicking the seat in front of him, or at least get him to sleep so I could try my new Sisley mask. Somewhere that night, a mom, just like me, probably holding on tight to her toddler. Perhaps knowing what was to come. Perhaps didn't. God, I do hope, I really really do hope it was the later, and that somewhere out there, both toddler and mom were fast asleep.

My heart breaks with all the families who are and have been in agony for almost three weeks. My heart is also filled with gratitude for another chance to keep my life in perspective -- not at their expense, but from a realization that theirs are as precious, yet sometimes mundane, as mine and everyone else's. We are all, in so many ways, the same. It is only human nature to be in denial, to sink below mindfulness, making the biggest fuss over the most simplistic, silly things. But, what I wouldn't give to hear the Toddler's chatter another day, to enjoy the blooming cherry blossom tree around the block, to savor another sip of my favorite tea, to sleep in the warmth of my own bed, to worry about what to buy, what to eat, where to go.

I know for sure that death is just another transition in life. Stuffs that I have here, that I write, that I fuss about in daily basis, are just stuffs that get me "from here to there." This realization alone won't stop me from keep fussing about stuffs, but to experience that moment of clarity in my humanness, no matter how brief, I am profoundly grateful.

Mohen Wang, the youngest passenger of flight MH 370. Source: twitter via @jonathanwald

What's been nagging at you lately? What comes to your awareness recently? What are you grateful for? I warmly invite you to share them in the comment.

2 comments:

  1. I don't think these posts are cliche in the least, dear Claire. I love that you take time to let yourself see the bigger picture, and try to express it in beautiful writing for all of us as well. Thank you for posting these <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Especially grateful someone else is reading this. I'm sure you can relate, we sometimes write as a cathartic experience. Partly, this post is about giving my nagging "uneasiness" a chance to surface and to really feel the gift behind it. Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete