8.19.2014

Thankful Tuesday

It has been almost a month since PapaLorp lost his job and his car at almost the same time. The reality of it has sunk in now at the Land. The car was towed, the prospect of moving to an internal position was gone. We are out in the wild.

I've been back working almost full-time and I do believe that working moms have it harder than stay-at-home moms in maintaining the sanity of the family. Most of all, it is hardest on the Tod, who, day to day, have to wake up in the morning and follow me wherever my work is because we only have one car (and sometimes it is quite impossible for me to get to the job without one) and lost all of he knew as a comforting, daily routine for him with me at home.

I won't belabored on other things that worries me at night (health insurance is one of them, especially with the Tod almost going back to his preschool again), sufficed to say I feel no sense of security and certainty -- everything seems like shifting sands, days went by without any sense of hope or optimism. It is truly harder to find things to be grateful about the whole situation, especially when a child is involved.

The other day while I was working, I overheard a success-story conversation of people I used to know, people I went to school with, and I thought, here I am, left behind. Then almost immediately, a thought came this is exactly where I am supposed to be. And just like that, my worries are replaced by a sense of deep peacefulness -- if only for a millisecond. In that millisecond, I feel that everything is all right, that I'm not lacking anything or wanting anything.

Why am I here? I don't know -- there must be some kind of a life lesson to be learned. All I know is that I am here, exactly where I am supposed to be. And for that millisecond flash of enlightenment, I'm profoundly grateful.

May blessings big and small find you where ever you are -- I warmly invite you to share your blessings of the week.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Claire hang in there, this too shall pass. I was in the same situation as you a few yrs back. It was tough but eventually it passed. I know I deliberately tried to focus on one day at a time. And your attitude of constant gratitude is inspiring. My blessing of the week is spending some time with extended family last weekend:)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your kind words. There's a level of knowing intellectually that "this too shall pass" but I'm still in the thick of it to realize it.

      What a blessing it is to spend time with extended family! I wish we can do more of that here at the Land -- maybe I'll reach out to them via FaceTime/Skype.

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